Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Intervention - The NDP Caucus Edition

In light of the devastating Sigma Analytics poll, Dwain Lingenfelter is considering changing his approach

A&E crews were in Regina on the weekend to record the historic weekend meeting

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Candy Finnigan; "I'm glad you could make it here Dwain. I've had the opportunity to spend some time with you caucus and I want to tell you, they love you like crazy. They just want to tell you a few things and then we can go. Is that OK?

Dwain L.; How yoooou doin'?

Candy Finnigan; Eyes here, Dwain. You want to start Kevin?

Kevin Y.; Dwain... I'm here because I care about you and I want you to be happy. We've had some good times, buddy. Remember, Channel Lake and Spudco? Those were good times man.

Dwain L.; Yea, we really screwed those babies up. (Dwain, caucus chuckles)

Kevin Y.; Remember the time you called Brad "the little thief from Swift Current"? I'm like "Go Dwain!" and you were like "He thinks he's so good". I think you really got to him.

Dwain L; Did I ever!

Darcy F.; I'm so angry!

Kevin Y.; And remember that time at the bar in Winnipeg? "I'm the Linkinator, are you Sarah Conner?" That gal didn't know what think.

Dwain L.; I'm not saying anything...(laughs)

(Judy J., Pat A. and Sandra M. chuckle, look at Dwain adoringly)

Kevin Y.; Buddy, things are changing. You can't do that s**t anymore. You gotta be nicer to people. Even Brad. People are starting to think you're too mean. It's not working anymore. You're going to screw us all the next election.

Dwain L.; F*** you, Pillsbury! You don't know me.

Sandra M.; Dwain, he's right...

Dwain L.; How yoooou doin'?

Candy Finnigan; Dwain, stop it!

Darcy F.; I'm so angry!

Kevin Y.; You're always angry, Darcy. Chill! Dwain, if you don't accept our help today, we won't be able to help you in the Leg anymore. We may not be able to support you in the party anymore. And I won't be your wing man anymore.

Dwain L.; That's bulls****t! You'll still be my wing man. I know you will.

Kevin Y.; I won't be man. You need to do this for you. And for all of us. At least until the next election. Can you try to be a bit nicer until the next election? Please?

Dwain L.; Well, I can try... OK, let's try to fool these guys. But only for a year, OK?

(caucus stands up and cheers, hugs Pat A.)

Pat A.; Ahem! Dwain.... Hands!

Kevin Y.; Oh, Dwain...

(caucus laughs)

Scene ends




1 comments:

Trent said...

You're satire is probably not far off reality with one exception; no one in caucus will admit they are at fault. They believe it's John Gormley's fault or they blame the voters themselves for not being "properly educated".

In reality Link isn't to blame. After all, his tactics aren't any different from his predecessors for the last 70 years.